Somewhere on the A507 near Buntingford, Christmas Day 2006
Today’s post is about spending Christmas Day on your own, and how it’s not as bad as you think.
I’ll caveat that slightly, by saying that spending Christmas Day on your own when you have chosen to do so is not as bad as you might think - in fact it’s actually pretty good fun.
My ex-husband and I separated just before Christmas in 2006. I was due to move into a houseshare but it wouldn’t be ready until mid-January, so I made the somewhat unusual decision to move home for a couple of weeks.
I left home when I went to university in 1997 and I had never moved back afterwards. Mum and Dad have moved home numerous times since I left, and so “home” is a somewhat alien concept for me. That’s something for another day though…(no festive content there so it’ll be after Christmas).
I was ready to go, my mum was ready for me to go and for a while we got on best with a big distance between us! (She’d say the same!) And so it was a big decision to go back, even short term.
Anyway. I finished work on Christmas Eve 2006, left work in Billericay, hopped on my motorbike and instead of turning right onto the A12, I went left towards the M25 and then to Stevenage. These are some of the busiest roads in the UK and the Lakeside roundabout was horrendous. But after that, it was an easy speedy ride to my mum and dad’s house and after unpacking, I set off for the most important mission of Christmas…
Buying some food for Christmas Day.
I was going to be spending the bulk of it alone - my nephew had been born a couple of days earlier, my mum was staying in Bromley helping my brother’s family adjust to their new arrival and Dad would be leaving early and arriving late to go and give my 2 year old niece some uninterrupted Grandad time for Christmas. I was in charge of looking after the dog - Lady the beautiful greyhound who is long departed.
My nephew will be 13 next week - it’s always funny looking back at that first Christmas now as he is so big!
I knew I was going to be on my own and I had three plans for the day - food, TV and a motorbike ride.
I’d thought in advance about what was going to make Christmas for me, and I bought all my favourite Christmas food - pigs in blankets, mince pies, smoked salmon and crackers. I bought pizza for my dinner, and a bottle of my favourite gin at the time - Bombay Sapphire (times have definitely changed there!)
Numerous Christmases have been spent in the same way now. Without realising it, I’d started to created my own new Christmas traditions.
The motorbike ride was one of the best bits of the day though.
With deserted roads and a relatively new and very fast bike, I set off for my favourite road which happened to be very close to my mum and dad’s house. The A507 between Buntingford and Baldock was beautifully surfaced, a good mixture of tight corners and sweeping bends, and with quiet roads for Christmas, there was nowhere else my bike and I would rather be. In fact, I looped back and did it twice.
The picture at the top was taken on an ancient camera phone before the arrival of front facing phones, and it’s one of my favourite photos of me. It was so unusual to take a photo of yourself in that way back then, that someone pulled over at the side of the road and asked if I was alright as I was parked up and off my bike.
I sometimes wonder where that girl in the photo went.
She’s still there of course, but so much has changed and while I miss my bike, this year I’ve had to face up and accept that it’s different in Scotland, life has changed and it’s no longer the defining part of my identity it used to be. There are so many other things instead, different things, good things.
We’ve still had a couple of brilliant days out together up here - I tried for the same photo in my back garden but didn’t quite manage it. Food and a motorbike ride are still a brilliant way of spending my time though.
I’m lucky that I have choices on how I spend Christmas and I’m actually pretty protective of it now. Food and TV remain a big part of my celebrations.
A couple of years ago I also discovered Sarah Millican’s #joinin on Twitter and I’ve enjoyed chatting away to people all over the world when I get in from work on Christmas Day. As she says, plenty of people are quite happy on their own but not everyone is, and it’s a really enjoyable thing for anyone who just fancies a natter. If you’re on Twitter, definitely check it out.